Life's Disapointments

We all have gone through it before. Not getting the toys we want, not winning the first prize in the spelling bee contest (no I have never been in one though I must admit I am quite the beeeeeee…. :p ) amongst others. As we grow older, disappointments come in different forms.

Being turned down by a crush, finding the perfect pair of shoes but not in your size, friends who backed out last minute and the list goes on. And the pattern still continues into our adulthood. Not landing the perfect the perfect job, missing out on a promotion and realizing that you are just not good enough.

To me, disappointment is part and parcel of life. You go through it again and again until you build a coping mechanism that somehow helps you get through it. Whatever that mechanism is, be it resignation, the promise of a better tomorrow or even blaming others for your misfortunes, that feeling is still there and you cannot deny it no matter how hard you try to erase it.

Raised hopes and expectations are preludes to this heavy emotion. When I think of disappointments, one song comes to mind. It totally embodies this emotion and describes it well using minimal words and an interesting music arrangement.

Using words and music as paint and your imagination as a canvas, Radiohead's Let Down paints exactly that emotion in brilliant solid colours. You cannot help but dig into your innermost thoughts and relive those moments that you tried so hard to put behind.

The best part of it, is that it is not all about gloom and self pity … Ironically, it brings hope and optimism (though short lived… yet another irony) to probably a jaded and bitter listener (I am not talking about me… hahaha).

You know, you know where you are with,
you know where you are with,
floor collapsing, falling, bouncing back
and one day, I am gonna grow wings,
a chemical reaction, [You know where you are,]
hysterical and useless [you know where you are,]
hysterical and [you know where you are,]
let down and hanging around,
crushed like a bug in the ground.
Let down and hanging around.

Go listen. It is a great song.

Time for Reflection

Kate Bush is an amazing singer songwriter. Her latest offering 'Aerial' is an example of how she evolves with her music. I first took notice of her when she released 'Hounds Of Love' (an amazing album by the way). Tracks like Running Up The Hill, Cloudbusting and the title track are amazing songs that I can listen to over and over again.

However there is one song that will always be dear to me. It helped me go through a tough time in my life. About a year ago, I lost my mom to cancer. I'll try not to go into too much details but my mom was very dear to me. Yes, I did take her for granted, pursuing my needs and wants that sometimes led to neglect. She was an amazing woman who believed in the good of people and always putting others above herself. I am who I am today because of her and if I am half of what she was, I am happy.

Well, not to be too dramatic, when she finally gave in to her sickness, I was devastated. But being the person who I am, I was able to block everything out. I went on with my life as usual and tried very hard not to think of her (I did quite well actually). However I still felt that there was something inside that had to come out. I don't know what it was untill I heard this song.

'This Woman's Work' (coincidentally, Maxwell also recorded an amazing cover of this song) was a song that I loved but on one particular day, as I was lying in bed listening to it, something took over me . I just wept and wept like a baby and that is something that is rare for me. I think it was the words of the song and how her voice truefully emote the song. One of resignation but yet hopeful. Longing.... Read the lyrics...

This Woman's Work

I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking
Of all the things I should've said,That I never said.
All the things we should've done,That we never did.
All the things I should've given,But I didn't.

All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Regret. That is what it was. That was what I was feeling. My mom never expected much from me. Yet I could not deliver. For now, I can only console myself by telling myself that I tried my best to be there for her when it mattered most..... Was that enough....

Music is my life

I have been thinking of doing this for a long time now so finally I am going to do it.

What this blog is all about?

Music basically. My interpretations of songs and what they mean to me. These are songs that have special meaning to me and I would like to share the experience with people who can be bothered to read them.

Who exactly will read my blog?

Hmmmm.... I dunno. Even if no one reads it, it's all good (as Chaka Khan would sing).

Why music?

I find that songwriters share their knowledge and experiences with the audience but sometimes we don't really take the time to listen to the words and see how insightful and true they are. Anyway, music is all I know and is the one passion in my life.

Now that we have gotten the introduction out of the way, my first posting starts now.... hehehe

India Arie did an amazing cover of Don Henley's Heart Of The Matter... a heartfelt rendition... go listen... made me listen to the lyrics... great song..

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someoneAnd I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?


These times are so uncertainThere's a yearning undefined...People filled with rage
We all need a little tendernessHow can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you nowBut I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changesAnd my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

This is not just a love song to me... it says a lot about the strange times that we live in.. well... just my own personal thoughts.... there is also a line in the first verse about throwing our contentment in beg for something more.... isn't that almost everyone's life.. I guess the voice that instigate us is actually our own..

That's all for now...
cheers